Verly long time since posting!

But I have a good excuse!!

We found out for sure around the 7th of June but we had known for a few weeks prior. Shane was in Florida visiting his family when I had my dr appointment to get tested. Mom took me and boy she was so excited! I was nervous, but happy. I peed in a cup and sat in the little office on the table waiting to hear.

My dr (her name is Dr Quinn, how funny is that?) creeped in to the room with a scared look on her face. And she told me, in a very 'im sorry to deliver you bad news' voice"It looks like you are pregnant" WEEE!! I hollered! She looked surprised for a sec and then visibly relaxed and beamed a big smile at me. She told me that she was very, very happy to give me good news. That it wasnt very often that folks were happy to hear they were pregnant. Isnt that sad? We hugged and I was smiling so much my cheeks hurt, lol! We talked for a while and she refered me to a place in Saratoga.

When I left the office to get the addy for them, my Ma spotted me from the waiting room and she made a face at me, like 'well??' I gave her the thumbs up and she just about flew out of her chair and danced over to me. I swear, she was more excited than I was!

But then I started spotting. Not bleeding really, just spotting a little. I made a sort of emergency visit at the place in Saratoga asap. Shane and I went and I got an ultrasound and we got to see our little bean! It was the nicest thing, ever. Especially since Shane was with me. I cant even explain how good it is to know that hes there for me. For us. Anyway, the bean is ok, but part of the placenta has come away from the uterine wall and a blood clot has formed. But all looked well.

I went again for my normal visit and pap and all that. The midwife used this microphone machine thing on my belly to try and find the heart beat. She said that usually you cant hear them so early (8 weeks) but she wanted to try anyway. "Dont be alarmed if we cant hear anything!" But after some searching, there it was! Lub-a-dub-lub-a-dub!! Fast and strong as you could ever want. But she said not sex, no lifting things, nothing that will strain my pelvic muscles. Whoopie!

Then on Saturday (july 7), Shane and I got in to a huuuge fight with Bruce (my step father). Hes a jackass and I hate him. Im off my Cymbalta so Im much more outspoken these days. And Im going to be a Mom and that has changed me. Alot. So I said what I thought and gave him what for like Ive only done once before. That time he hit me and threw me out. This time he got all huffy and told Shane and I to get out. Ha!! I told him to call the cops and get them to make us leave. If you knew him, youd know that he wouldnt call the cops if the house was on fire. Mom was out with Pip so she wasnt here to buffer. I got really upset, shaking and nearly hysterical. I effing hate him (I want to love him, and him me. I could use a father, but he makes that nearly impossible). I started to cramp and feel sick so I lied in bed with Shane for a while, trying to relax. A few hours later I used the bathroom and saw there was fresh blood. Not the old blood Id been spotting. And the drs said if that happened, GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

So thats what we did. After ages and years and a lifetime waiting, I got an IV *cries* and an ultrasound. I was dehydrated and I may have a UTI, but the ultrasound didnt show anything too bad. Im still bleeding from that clot, but the baby is great. So far. He/she was flipping around and moving like crazy. It was creepy! Then on the way home a belt snapped in the car. The two houses we were stuck by were full of folks who sleep like the dead. It was 2am and we have no cell so Shane hiked up the road to see if he could find a phone or someone who was awake. He eventually found a house with lots of dogs and they barked and woke up the house. They were nice and let him use the phone. He called our neighbors and they came right out and got us. We couldnt call home because Bruce doesnt have any of his cars legal and even if he did, he couldnt hear the phone ringing if it was sitting on his head. Thank goodness we have one set of neighbors who are there if we get in a bind!!

Now Im on even more *pelvis rest*, which is pretty much the same thing as bed rest because doing pretty much anything uses your pelvic muscles. So no more wrangling the sheep, no more trimming Loki's feet, no more gardening, no nothing. I cant even go for walks. Im soooo bored and frustrated. And all this sitting around has helped aggravate my sciatic nerve so I hurt almost constantly. And I get these awful stabbing pains in my butt/thigh when I move. Feels almost like the muscle is tearing. It hurts!

But Im getting loads of knitting/crocheting done. Ive finally started a pair of Horcrux socks. But in the fingering weight version. You can get that pattern by joining the Six Sox Knitalong. Im using some fingering weight superwash yarn I bought recently. I dyed it blue and lime. It was supposed to me chartreuse, not lime, but I went a little crazy with the dye amount. Its very pretty though! And much more *witchy* IMHO. Ive only got about 1 1/2 inches done but its striping awesome. Ive lost my knitting calluses :o( and after knitting that much, my poor ring finger on my left hand swelled up where the needle was rubbing on it. That happened before with the first pair of socks I ever made. I have to work through the pain and a nice, tough callus will grow. Heehee!

OK, well, Im getting hungry again. Dang tiny bean eats alot! Oh, I forgot to add that Im due on January 25th. The day before my Dads birthday! We even know the day I got pregnant, Yay for Cinco de Mayo! LOL!

I Shall Try Again

So lets see if I can write this one and post it successfully this time!

The last time I really blogged here was ages ago..Loki is fully recovered. Looking back Im not even sure I believe she foundered. She did have an abscess and that alone could hurt enough to make her severely lame. The area where the abscess was is growing out. Part of the hoof wall broke off but is looking pretty dang good these days. Shes back to prancing and galloping in her pasture again. I wasnt sure I would ever see that again!! She is a little skinny though. The vet had me take her off grain fo she lost a bunch of weight. But shes been back on it now for a couple months and is slowly gaining. But I wont let her get as fat as she was! In case it was founder, Im going to be very careful with her feed.

(This pic of them is from Feb)
I have sheep! Two actually. One is named Lymric, he is a little Jacob wether. Hes soooo cute! Hes the smaller of the two and a very shy fellow. Hes blck and white and has four horns. The other is named Nasvitch, hes a Southern Jacob (hes a mix of Southdown and Jacob) wether. Hes turning out to be a big guy and much mroe outgoing than Lymric. Hes all black, but the sun bleaches him to the most gorgeous chocolate color youve ever seen. I cant wait to spin his wool!

Speaking of wool, they are getting shorn ont he 12th. Im completely freaked about it. They DO NOT like to be handled so its going to be really stressfull for them. And me! Uhg. Ive been going out everyday with a bit of grain and trying to get them more used to being touched. Lymric, though, wont even eat out of my hand :( Nasvitch will, though, and I can pet his head and sides and even his front legs and belly, just so long as hes got grain to eat in front of him!. I can even hold an handfull of grain up to my chin and kiss him ont he nose while he eats it! Hes very sweet.

A few days ago Lymric had some sort of trouble. Shane went out and discovered him with blood all over his chest. He rain inside and woke me up and we ran back out to their pen. Lymric was standing there with blood smeared all over his chest and all on his face. I got some grain and went in to get a closer look at him. He didnt have any wounds anywhere and I could tell the blood was from outside his wool, it didnt seep out from his skin, if you get what I mean. There were a few places in their pen that were splattered with blood, it was all over the door way of their house, too. It looked horrible! I was so upset I was shaking.

We tried to catch him but hes very shy. Nasvitch is an outgoing sheep and comes right up and I can catch him any time I want. I was upset and pretty useless in the attempt to catch Lymric. Nasvitch veered away from Shane and hit the gate and it flew off its hinges and out he went in to the yard. Lymric got very upset and started bleeding from the nose and bright red foam appeared from the corners of his mouth. We herded Nasvitch back in (wow are sheep fast!) and I decided it would be better to just leave him be. I didnt want to hurt him and I was a nervous wreck at that point, so I just sat with them.

I was out there for quite a while. The bleeding stopped almost immediately. he snorted a few times to clear his nose and he licked alot to clean his mouth. he nibbled grain like usual. The next day, after some rain, you wouldnt even know anything had happened. Hes got a little staining on his chest, but other than that, he seemed fine. I talked to bunches of sheepy folks on the net and read and read everything I could find. It could be from a number of different things. Nothing very serious, though. So I chose to do the wait and see thing.

Thankfully, he is still doing great! Hes bopping around his pen just fine and eating, drinking and doing his business like normal. Hes even getting a little friendlier with me. This morning I decided to catch one of them and get a halter on, if I could. I was hoping to catch Lymric, but hes very shy and untill I have a catch pen, theres no getting ahold of him with out much running. So I caught Nasvitch. Boy he didnt think much of that! I caught him by the horns and wrestled him to the ground. Wow, is he strong! After much fighting and calm talking I got the halter on him. I had him on his side and he was calm and I felt him all over. He smells so nice! Like fresh hay and lanolin. Lurve it! So I let him up and he gets to bucking, just like a tiny pony. And of course, the halter was a little too loose and it pops off his nose and with a flip of his head, its completely off him. Cripes!!

So I went and got some sweet feed (their favorite!) and went back to make up a little. Took them a while, but I got Nasvitch back over and eating from my hand again. Hes so forgiving! He seems like it didnt bother him much, but man am I pooped! My arms were shaking after that, lol!

BLEH!

well, i fucking suck, i just spent over 30 minutes writing a looong post and then some how pasted over it with something else. im a stupid fuck up

Worse News

Mood: Bleh
Listening to: The Fan Hum
Reading: The Divinci Code
Watching: Rashomon

My mare has foundered. I finally was able to get a 'real' vet out here to look at her. The first vet didnt do a damn thing. She looked at her swollen leg and said she had cellulitis. Well, she doesnt. A different vet came to see her last week. Same office, but different vet. He took one look at her and said 'Yup, shes foundered". FUCK!!

During his first visit he sedated her so he could trim her worst foot. The one that had the abscess. She struggled and was a brat. I never saw anyone sweat so much or get so red! Poor vet worked really hard. He was here for a couple hours just working on that one foot. Till almost 9pm. I even got a lesson in how to give injections. ACK!! Ive never ever given a shot before, but Ive given a few now, lol. Loki was awesome about getting them. I didnt even have to tie her up, she just stood there for me. EVery 6 hours I had to go out and give her a shot of this yellow dialating stuff. I forget what it was called. I shook every time. The vet said that if I got it in her blood stream it could kill her so I was especially scared I was going to mess up. But I didnt

The vet came back again to trim her other feet. It was a terrible time for all of us, though for Loki and the vet the most. He was tired he said because hed been up for like 23 hours with 2 horses in the clinic. THen the first thing he does when he picks up Lokis hoof up to start trimming, is cut his thumb. I didnt get a look at it, but it was bad. He ran to his truck and put some tape on it and came back and kept working! He said it was down to the bone and I dont doubt it. It bled like a fucker. Loki still has bloody thumb prints on ehr side and bloody pasterns! He even splatted blood on my pants! lol Never had anyone bleed on me before. I should have asked him if he was going to charge me extra for the paint job

So the vet was tired and injured and well, he got mad at us and Loki. Even yelled at us for not holding her head right. I know he was trying hard and Loki is a jerk with her feet, but dang. He went to his truck to get more TQ and I cried. Bleh! He tried to do her back feet but shed only let him do one. Shes funny about her right hind leg. Im working with her but its going to take ages to get her ok with it. I dont know why shes bad with that one. Been a year or so since she started that. Oh, it was also friggin hot and raining really hard so theres that to make us all unhappy, too.

When the trimming was done, I tied Loki up so she coudlnt eat anythign till she was awake more, and followed the vet back to his truck. I offered tos tand outside, I had a coat on and didnt mind the rain, but he said "Get in and Ill turn the AC on". So I did and he worked up how much to charge, checked his messages and filled up more syringes for Loki. He oppologized for getting so cranky and repeatedly told me how good I was doing with Loki and that I did a good job helping. I guess alot of people dont help when vets show up. I cant even imagine doing that. Its your pet!! Anyway, I thanked him and he thanked me and I said "take care of that thumb!", "Yea, Im gettin a tetanus shot! lol"

SO the two visits from him is cositng me $362 bucks. Ouch... Well, my grandfather is paying it and I pay him back. Itll take me a few months, but ung! I wish I had lots of money. How does the government expect anyone to live on $425 a month?? If I had more money, I would gladly pay anything to help my horse. Anything. He worked hard to get her feet looking good (though there was alot of yelling and jabbing with carious tools to get her to stand up) and her feet look awesome now. All but one anyway. He earned what ever part of that 362 is his, but thats almost as much as I get in one month!!

And now Im obsessing about Loki. A mare my step father bought about 10 years ago foundered and eventually got so bad, she broke her leg and Bruce shot her. I loved that lady. I wish I had lived here then and done more. I didnt know anythign then. But I do now and Loki isnt going to die. Im not giving up on her. If she needs me to be out there 24/7 I will be. I wish it was my feet instead. If she needs every cent I have, shell get it. Shes in alot of pain and now she cant graze or have grain. She may never be able to have those things and it kills me. She searches my pockets for treats and shes still looking for her supper every night. Its sucks so bad. I love her and want her to he healthy. But I want her to be happy too. I though that I would splurge next month if I can and get us a clicker training book. So many people use it I thought it might be fun to teach her stuff while shes layed up. We could play that way. Give us both something to do.

uhg.....

Loki is doing better...

We finally got a vet here wednesday. The vet we HAD called put us off for another day so we called a different office a little further away.

Wednesday morning Shane went out to feed her and she looked ok, came over to eat. Then a shor time later he came out and she was falt out on her side. He came righ tin to get me. We coudlnt figure out if she fell or layed down. I think that since shed been standing for 3 or more days that she was exhusted and collapsed. The pain in her leg was so bad that she was unable to get down on the ground to sleep deeply. Horses can nap standing, their legs can 'lock' so they dont fall. But to get deep sleep, they need to lay down, just like us. But even the standing naps were too painful fo rher. She couldnt lock her knees because it hurt too much to put an weight on her leg.

So I come out and there she is, on her side, looking very sick. I didnt try to get her to get up because I knew she needed a rest. My mother called the other vet (Battenkill, very helpful people!!) and they said I should get her up. Well, I didnt. One minute she was looking at me, all awake and seconds later, she was asleep, REM and twitching and everything. Ive never seen her sleep before! Poor girl was so tired. I soothed her and let her sleep. I also trimmed her feet a bit since I had easy access. After an hour or so, we got her up. She was very wobbly and not happy to be up. But she seemed ok so I took a break and came inside to cool off. And down she went again! So I let her sleep a bit more and then we tried to get her up. Yea right!! She was impossible for a bit, but with some shoving and pushing and pulling, she got up. Her legs were so tired, she almost fell back down, right on me!

Shane and I stayed out in the barn all day with her to make sure she didnt go down again. Shane brought out the game cube and tv and I read my book. Loki stood as close to me as she could and begged for my coffe, my sandwich and even my soda! Shes a bum! This month I got her a big 25 pound bag of treats and she LOVES them! Ive been keeping them in my pockets so she knows to look for them now, heehee!

In the early afternoon my Ma went to the Battenkill vet office and chatted with the vets there about Loki. They sent her back with a tube of bute paste and some antibiotic/anti inflamatory pills. I set about crushing up the dose of 10 and mixing them with molasses and water. I brought the mix out and used a syringe to shoot it in to her mouth and gave her some paste. EW!! SHe hated it!

Later int he afternoon the vet was able to come over. They werent sure if shed be able to come, but she was! Dr Hill was so nice and good with Loki. She felt her leg and examined her hoof. SHe said she thoguht it might be cellulitis. Thats an infection of the tissue under the skin (we ladies know all about cellulite!). So she said keep her ont he meds, twice a day and wet her leg with rubbing alchohol and wrap it with saran wrap and then a bandage for the night. Remove that in the morning and rewrap at night till the swelling goes down.

Yesterday an abscess broke out of her foot, right on the coronary band. Its was really oogey. So I called the office and eventually got Dr Hill on the phone. She said soak her foot in water and epsom salts a few times a day. Keep up with the wrapping and meds. So I am.

On thrusday morning we go out and poor Loki has two scrapes on her face and her other front leg is swollen, below the knee, AND on her elbow! Seems she fell and struggled or something. Poor lady :( But the pain her her left leg seemed much better. Im wrapping both legs now.

The infection seems alot better. Not much draining from it now. Her pain is ALOT better. SHe can fight me now when I try to give her the medecine!! She is walking a bit too. But the swelling isnt gone, at all. I shall call the vet again on monday!

Ah, shes a good lady. I loves me Loki.

My poor Loki is lame!

In her 15 years, this is the very first time Loki, my mare, has ever been lame. Its not horrible, I guess, but shes in pain and I hate it! We noticed her limping on thrusday (its now tuesday) and its not any better. Though the swelling has gone down alot and seemed to move lower on her leg. Shes not walking around at all, though she is shut in her stall with a little yard so she cant really walk anywhere anyway. Shes having a terrible time just putting weight on it and its SO hot and muggy shes sweating like crazy.

Today when I went out she was wet all over and heaving/panting she was so hot. I doused her with epsomsalted water and stole the fan thats in our kitchen. THinking that since no one is ever in there to use it anyway, Id give it to Loki for a while to cool her off. Well, she LOVED it! She even tried to shove me out of the way when I stood in front of it! Though now, barely 30 minutes later, my ma comes to my door and tells me that Bruce (my stepfather) was mad that I took the fan and that she brought it back in. Bitch!! Shes like his fucking peon robot slave. Shell do what ever he wants. Its sickening. No one matters but Him. Fucking losers. Oh yea, we need a fan running in an EMPTY room! Loki is 'a horse, she dont matter'! Yea horses werent made for jungle weather, desert maybe, but not swealtery jungle!! This is upstate NY and OMG its so fucking hot and muggy, sweat doesnt help! There is no breeze to help her where shes at and I cant move her to where there IS one. Shes got a gimpy leg and she cant move to where it might be cooler. Shes stuck, in pain and HOT!! Stupid fucking selfish bastards. I really need to get out of here. Im fucking almost 30 and here they treat me like im 16. If I say boo at them its WW3.

So here I am, helpless to aide Loki. I iced her leg for about 30 minutes and that seemed to soothe her a bit, but shes still hot. I was so hot and wet out there I almost oculdnt stand it. Its like I jumped in a pool, got out and now I cant dry off. They sit all cool with an AC, but poor Loki is suffering out there because Bruce wants a fan going in an empty room.

And the friggin vet wont be here till MAYBE tomorrow. He said he might make it yesterday, but course he didnt. Today is the fourth and we all know that fireworks and bbqs are more important than animal health, so their office is closed. So he MIGHT show up tomorrow. I mean come on! Shes been lame since thursday! And the office is TWO MILES from our house! Probably not even that!! "Fuck people pets! I wanna stuff my fat face with dead animals and watch dem perdy sparklers! Herherher!!"

Im so angry right now I could punch someone. I can think of the perfect person too!!!!

Im sick of the Flu!!!

Cripes I feel like Ive been ill for years. Its getting quite old. Ive been sick for almost 2 weeks! Think its bout time to make a dr appointment. Though, probably, I should have made one days ago! Just seems like a waste to go for a simple cold/flu. But its just not leaving me! Maybe theres some magic pill she can give me. YEA RIGHT!! lol!! I want to go out and laugh and play with out coughing up a lung. Would be wonderful!! And to not have this horrid headache...oh I dream about the days when its gone!!
And being sick and in bed for a full 5 days (only getting out of it to use the girly room) I neglected my pets. Shane helped alot with the watering and feeding, but he refuses to clean them, so my poor inside pets went ages. I've only just now cleaned Camillas cage and Burrs. EW! Burrs was mostly just wet. But whew! The stink! Poor bun Hes SO happy now though, with his nest full of new hay!
Camilla LOVES it when I dont clean her for a while. See, our screens are anything but bug proof and we live in cow/corn country. So...we get flies no matter what. And well, flies LOVE chicken poop. Camilla has a wire bottom on her cage and a pan under it. She cant reach those loverly bugs unless I let her. And well, you should hear her scren every time I clean her!! After getting out the major stuff, I usuallt let her out to peck around in the pan, eating what ever icky bug she can find. This time, after so long with out cleaning the thing out, there was, well, a crop full in there! She was absolutely delighted. Its gross to me, but to a chicken? Maggots and creepy crawlies are like heavan. She couldnt eat them fast enough! Shes a good helper.
After that I sit down to go thru my emails and I finally go to andyspenpals.com to see if I got any responces to my add from a while back. And what do I see?? They got hacked and closed the site down permanently!! Stupid hackers! Ruining the site for us all! That was the best pen pal site Ive ever used. Im very dissapointed.
Ah well. At least we have our AC up and running. Its nice in the bedroom. But out here in the chicken/cat/puter room, whew! Its toasty! Even now, at 12:21am its 81 degrees in here And thats COOL compared to the daytime! I wish I could get another ac for in here. But my stepfather says no, though I dont know WHY. He doesnt pay the electric bill!!
Were going ot start our garden soo. Yes, I agree, its LATE LATE LATE!! But my step father is in charge of when anything is done out there. See, every year he brings over one of the HUGEASS feild tractors to plow this plot in our yard. Now let me explain to you how stupid this really it. See, first of all--
A - the tractor he uses is ginormous. Its the kind they use for plowing up corn feilds, the type that cost 100000 bucks and whos wheels are taller than me. This kind of tractor plows a track thats HUGE. Which brings be to the second reason
B - our garden plot is TOO HUGE. He plows this garden area thats about 50'x200' every year, sometimes its even bigger than that. But this year hes managed to make it thinner than it normally is. Which is the one good thing about it. But Ill get to that later. This brings me to the third reason why this garden is stupid.
C - When he does finally plow thie huge garden with this huge tractor, its JUNE!!! Its late!! We could have had things in the ground in april, some even in march!! But nooooo. Bruce has to wait till HE thinks it should be done. FOOL! Arg, it makes me so mad I could spit. Every year he does this!
The one, ONE good thing this year is that he somehow missed plowing up my herb/flower bed from last year. And wow, was I happy to see that! I almost cried! Last year I had planted, well, lets see, marigolds, columbines, spearmint, basils, rosemary, thyme, parsely, and a few others I cant recall.
This spring, Bruces sister, Barb (whos awesome) gave me some plants (shes been doing this a few years now. She shares her plants with me now that she knows I like gardening). One of them was another columbine. It flowered nicely, and we ooed over its beauty. Then Shane went down to look at the plow work and noticed a patch of like flowers and brought me one. I screamed! Thats a columbine!!
We went out and checked and sure enough, the one plant I had planted last year multiplied and is now a nice clump!! With gorgeous purple flowers. And the peppermint that I planted beside it had multiplied beyond anything I could have imagined! I only planted ONE plant, one single plant of peppermint. Now that plant comers an area thats about 2'x2'!!! Its gorgeous!! The rosemary is also there still, along with some flower I planted (but I cant remember what it was!). I swear, if I have to beat him in to it, this spot of the yard is going ot be mine, never to be plowed up again! Some of our rows are still in tact too!
So, in the next week or so, we will be buying and planting some tomatoes, peppers, eggplants and herbs out there. Im so excited! But untill then, Im happy to tell you that my lettuce I planted beside the shed door, in my itty bitty garden, is growing well!
The onions there are growing well too. So well, that a spider decided it was a good place to hatch her family! Have a look at these beauties!!
--> http://www.deviantart.com/view/34118924/ <-- Stupid blogger wont let me post any more photos!! Now I have to put up links to them on my deviantart site. Oh well.
The spiders where a very nice surprise!! I dont know what type they are, but theyr beautiful! After beign out there a while, one of the cats bumped them and they all fell on the ground. As they started back up the web, I got another nice pic of them
--> http://www.deviantart.com/view/34119575/ <--

OK, well, Im hungry and about sick of these bugs whove burgled my house to flit around the lamp and tickle me with their feet. Im off for the night!!